Brandon:
Hey Brandon, I couldn't find your post for prompt 50 this week, but I your post for 52 was great. Once again, I found this post to be very easily to relate to due to my very own pokemon obsession as a child. Your experiences with pokemon are probably much like many people our age. Your post was good in that it conveyed the feelings of kid who just experienced pokemon for the first time, without actually writing in the point of view of the kid. It seems to me that its more difficult to do. Kudos to you on that. Anyway, I wish you luck on your final and can't wait to read it later today!
Chelsee:
Hi there, Chelsee. It's our last official peer review. Here we go! Your first post about faith was a little sad. Sad for both of us because I could relate to it almost exactly. It's depressing to say that I'm sure many people can relate to this. I was glad to hear that your story had a happy ending though. Keep your head up; you'll get there eventually. Your second piece, "The Redneck in My Blood Loves Trucks," was entertaining. I'm not really a girly girl, but I can honestly say I don't know or even care to know much about vehicles. I think it's cool that you like trucks so much. The piece was well written and had great voice. I got a real sense of your personality out of this. Once again, good luck on the final and I can't wait to read the rough draft!
Alyssa:
Hey again, Alyssa! Your post on faith this week was extremely moving. May I be as bold as to say I think it would be a great piece for you to do your final essay on? I really loved it and was personally moved and forced to think about my own definition of faith because as of late, I've been lacking in that department. It was full of voice and passion and though I don't know how long ago this happened, I'm sorry for your loss. Your second post was great also. It reminded me much of my own of the same prompt. Little kids are so hilarious. Their thought processes are amazing and I think you captured the innocence perfectly. You're a great writer and I can't wait to read your rough draft for your final paper later today. Good luck!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hot Pink Convertible Please! (Prompt # 52)
I want that car so much! My Barbies would love it! It's so shiny and pink! I love pink! It's my favorite color! My sisters would be so jealous if my Barbies had a car and theirs didn't. They would have to walk their Barbies everywhere or ask me to drive them...Yes! They would have to ask me. I could charge them too! Oooooh! I want that car sooooooo bad!
Maybe if I'm really super duper good, Mom will buy it for me. Probably not. Hmmm next holiday? Easter! Eh no. Well I can't wait for my birthday in November. That's like a bajillion months away. This is no fair! I NEED that car I have lots of change saved up that I found all over the house, like from under the couch, in the laundry room, and from Dad's pants pockets. Maybe I can buy it all by myself. Maybe Mom will take me to get it now. The lady on the t.v. said it was fabulous! "Mom! Mom! Mom! We have to go to the store right this instant. I have to get something very important!"
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Lost But Not Necessarily Missed (Prompt #50)
It didn't come on all at once with the sudden realization that it was gone. It was subtle and the realization that it was gone was just that. It was simple. Not overwhelming.
All my life my family, both on my mom's and my dad's side, have been LDS. I grew up in it. Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't as if the religion was shoved down my throat. It was always just my natural way of life, part of my upbringing.
Over the years, my immediate family was torn apart by my parents' divorce. Religious practices were offset by depression and stress. Eventually we all quit attending church. In high school, when I got my license, my sisters and I started going again. We really enjoyed all going together. I was happy because I felt that I was being a good example for them. A couple of years went by and there were aspects of the religion that I didn't necessarily agree with that I hadn't noticed as a child. There were simple things in my life that I did or said that I was forced to feel bad about. I'm not a horrible person by any stretch of the imagination.
I slowly stopped going to church and church activities. I would over sleep or fake sick. When my sister was old enough to drive, I quit everything altogether.
Over the span of at least a decade, I've lost my faith. I don't feel remorse over it either, just happy to live my life.
All my life my family, both on my mom's and my dad's side, have been LDS. I grew up in it. Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't as if the religion was shoved down my throat. It was always just my natural way of life, part of my upbringing.
Over the years, my immediate family was torn apart by my parents' divorce. Religious practices were offset by depression and stress. Eventually we all quit attending church. In high school, when I got my license, my sisters and I started going again. We really enjoyed all going together. I was happy because I felt that I was being a good example for them. A couple of years went by and there were aspects of the religion that I didn't necessarily agree with that I hadn't noticed as a child. There were simple things in my life that I did or said that I was forced to feel bad about. I'm not a horrible person by any stretch of the imagination.
I slowly stopped going to church and church activities. I would over sleep or fake sick. When my sister was old enough to drive, I quit everything altogether.
Over the span of at least a decade, I've lost my faith. I don't feel remorse over it either, just happy to live my life.
Week 14: Peer Review
Brandon:
It's the last week of normal class! Your first post of the week, " Adventures in Solitude" was really awesome. I used to work retail and reading your post immediately brought me back to the days where I would stand for hours folding t-shirts or walk around attending to the messy fitting rooms. You really have great voice. Your second post was also great. I took the opposite stance on memoir writing and graphic works, but yours really made me think about it. I'm not totally against it; I just think full text is better. Great job and good luck on your final!
Chelsee:
Hey Chelsee! Your first post this week, " Sparky Has Taken Over My Wardrobe" was great. I really love how you incorporated your title in to the actual story. It was creative and I liked it. I also really liked how easily I was able to relate to your post. I feel like we've all been in your position at least once or twice. Most of our posts for this prompt at least have some similarities between them because we've all held jobs where we didn't feel appreciate or we were just plain bored. I admire how you made it your own. For your second post, I found it interesting the way you perceived the prompt. I like how you made it an "either/or" type situation. All in all, great work and I wish you luck on your final!
Alyssa:
Hey there, Alyssa! I really enjoyed your piece, " Over." I know it didn't stick to the prompt, but I didn't mind one bit. It was creative and a great insight to what you've been up to. It was also a great insight to your character and your personality. In other words, it was revealing. Your second post about graphic novel writing was also insightful. In my post I similarly point out the benefit of using the illustrations to clarify the author's thoughts or points, but conversely, I ended up saying that I would stick to plain text. I guess I just don't enjoy graphic works as much as I do a good book. Anyway, I digress. Great posts this week. I can't wait to read your final. Good luck!
It's the last week of normal class! Your first post of the week, " Adventures in Solitude" was really awesome. I used to work retail and reading your post immediately brought me back to the days where I would stand for hours folding t-shirts or walk around attending to the messy fitting rooms. You really have great voice. Your second post was also great. I took the opposite stance on memoir writing and graphic works, but yours really made me think about it. I'm not totally against it; I just think full text is better. Great job and good luck on your final!
Chelsee:
Hey Chelsee! Your first post this week, " Sparky Has Taken Over My Wardrobe" was great. I really love how you incorporated your title in to the actual story. It was creative and I liked it. I also really liked how easily I was able to relate to your post. I feel like we've all been in your position at least once or twice. Most of our posts for this prompt at least have some similarities between them because we've all held jobs where we didn't feel appreciate or we were just plain bored. I admire how you made it your own. For your second post, I found it interesting the way you perceived the prompt. I like how you made it an "either/or" type situation. All in all, great work and I wish you luck on your final!
Alyssa:
Hey there, Alyssa! I really enjoyed your piece, " Over." I know it didn't stick to the prompt, but I didn't mind one bit. It was creative and a great insight to what you've been up to. It was also a great insight to your character and your personality. In other words, it was revealing. Your second post about graphic novel writing was also insightful. In my post I similarly point out the benefit of using the illustrations to clarify the author's thoughts or points, but conversely, I ended up saying that I would stick to plain text. I guess I just don't enjoy graphic works as much as I do a good book. Anyway, I digress. Great posts this week. I can't wait to read your final. Good luck!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Graphic Memoirs (Prompt # 49)
Graphic novels and comic books/strips? Honestly, I'm not a fan and really haven't been for as long as I can remember. After reading several memoirs in the graphic illustrated form this week, my opinion hasn't changed much. Sure, the pictures help with reading comprehension (most of the time), but honestly, the way I see it, if the memoir was written in plain text form, would everything be as hard to follow? My guess is no.
The one benefit to writing a graphic novel is that the author can use the illustrations to help convey to the readers the different situations and settings exactly as they remember them. Usually, I prefer to use my imagination for these aspects of literature, but it only makes sense to see these as the author did. In " Lucky," I think having the author's memoir in plain text with more detail to description and what happened between the main events (i.e. each new comic box) would've made it easier to follow. The thoughts were choppy and broken up into the most important happenings in the excerpt from the graphic novel, but I really think an actually novel with plenty of details would've made more sense to me. For this reason, I'm going to have to say that graphic novels and/or comic strips aren't the best option for putting together a memoir.
The one benefit to writing a graphic novel is that the author can use the illustrations to help convey to the readers the different situations and settings exactly as they remember them. Usually, I prefer to use my imagination for these aspects of literature, but it only makes sense to see these as the author did. In " Lucky," I think having the author's memoir in plain text with more detail to description and what happened between the main events (i.e. each new comic box) would've made it easier to follow. The thoughts were choppy and broken up into the most important happenings in the excerpt from the graphic novel, but I really think an actually novel with plenty of details would've made more sense to me. For this reason, I'm going to have to say that graphic novels and/or comic strips aren't the best option for putting together a memoir.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monotony...An Insult to My Intelligence (Prompt #45)
"Beep...Beep...Beep." Everything "beeps" here. All I hear is beeping, humming, and people. Some days (more often than not) the people are the worst. They yell at you for all sorts of reasons, and most of them are not even legitimate.
Day after day, I slowly walk to the back, not even bothering to pick up my feet as I go. I fumble around in my purse for my badge and pull it out just in time to run it though the time-clock like I've done too many times before. I then collect my job necessities: my black pen, water bottle, chapstick, and name tag. I then head toward the front where all of the cash registers are located, where I'll spend at least the next couple of hours in monotonous Hell.
This job wasn't always this bad. In fact, when I first started, I loved ringing things through with the scanners. It was just like all of the times I had played imaginary grocery store with my younger sister. As time went on though, and I spent more of my time here, I realized how boring and repetitive it actually is. Why don't I find a new place of employment? I don't look elsewhere for several reasons. The first reason being that they're good with accommodating my busy and ever-changing school schedule. The second reason is that this job is so simple a monkey could easily do it, and the third reason is that finding a new job nowadays isn't an easy task. So, unitl I find something to replace my lackadaisical employment choice, I'll just deal with the crabby people and the never ending "beeps..."
Day after day, I slowly walk to the back, not even bothering to pick up my feet as I go. I fumble around in my purse for my badge and pull it out just in time to run it though the time-clock like I've done too many times before. I then collect my job necessities: my black pen, water bottle, chapstick, and name tag. I then head toward the front where all of the cash registers are located, where I'll spend at least the next couple of hours in monotonous Hell. This job wasn't always this bad. In fact, when I first started, I loved ringing things through with the scanners. It was just like all of the times I had played imaginary grocery store with my younger sister. As time went on though, and I spent more of my time here, I realized how boring and repetitive it actually is. Why don't I find a new place of employment? I don't look elsewhere for several reasons. The first reason being that they're good with accommodating my busy and ever-changing school schedule. The second reason is that this job is so simple a monkey could easily do it, and the third reason is that finding a new job nowadays isn't an easy task. So, unitl I find something to replace my lackadaisical employment choice, I'll just deal with the crabby people and the never ending "beeps..."
Monday, April 11, 2011
Week 13: Peer Review
Brandon:
Hi there! Your posts this week were definitely interesting. I always have a favorite though and this week, it was "Tired Edition." I really loved how you put your voice into it without using any personal pronouns to let us (your readers) know that everything was from your point of view and consisted purely of your own opinion. I truly commend that; it's pretty difficult to pull of successfully. Your second post " First World Problems" was also interesting. I would only recommend that when writing for such an open audience, not knowing where they stand politically, it may be a good idea to be more open to both sides. You did have some really great points in that post though. Keep it up!
Chelsee:
Chelsee, I first of all would like to say that I am sorry for your loss. I really hope that isn't too presumptuous. I feel for you. Your post on it was done beautifully and I appreciate the fact that you were open enough to share the experience with us. With the way you described the event and the people, I could picture everything in my mind perfectly. Your more recent post, " April is Autism Awareness Month," was equally well-written. My favorite aspect was, oddly enough, the title. I thought it was clever that you snuck in the fact that it was Autism Awareness month and leave it at that. You didn't have to elaborate on it in the piece. I know it isn't that elaborate and you didn't think much of it when you did it, but I thought it was ingenious. I look forward to reading your posts next week.
Alyssa:
Hello again Alyssa! Once again, I loved your posts this week. Your earlier post of the week, "Mono Tone" was different than all of the others I read for prompt 42, but not in a bad way of course. It was different in that it was all about you but from an outsider's point of view. It was different and interesting. I love seeing how different people can interpret the different prompts we are assigned. Your second post, " UNjustified Eating" was very interesting in that we (your audience members) were able to see how food and diets effect different people's lives in different ways and from different points of views. I truly commend you on this, for I don't quite think I could pull it off myself. Once again, I look forward to reading your posts next week. Keep up the great work.
Hi there! Your posts this week were definitely interesting. I always have a favorite though and this week, it was "Tired Edition." I really loved how you put your voice into it without using any personal pronouns to let us (your readers) know that everything was from your point of view and consisted purely of your own opinion. I truly commend that; it's pretty difficult to pull of successfully. Your second post " First World Problems" was also interesting. I would only recommend that when writing for such an open audience, not knowing where they stand politically, it may be a good idea to be more open to both sides. You did have some really great points in that post though. Keep it up!
Chelsee:
Chelsee, I first of all would like to say that I am sorry for your loss. I really hope that isn't too presumptuous. I feel for you. Your post on it was done beautifully and I appreciate the fact that you were open enough to share the experience with us. With the way you described the event and the people, I could picture everything in my mind perfectly. Your more recent post, " April is Autism Awareness Month," was equally well-written. My favorite aspect was, oddly enough, the title. I thought it was clever that you snuck in the fact that it was Autism Awareness month and leave it at that. You didn't have to elaborate on it in the piece. I know it isn't that elaborate and you didn't think much of it when you did it, but I thought it was ingenious. I look forward to reading your posts next week.
Alyssa:
Hello again Alyssa! Once again, I loved your posts this week. Your earlier post of the week, "Mono Tone" was different than all of the others I read for prompt 42, but not in a bad way of course. It was different in that it was all about you but from an outsider's point of view. It was different and interesting. I love seeing how different people can interpret the different prompts we are assigned. Your second post, " UNjustified Eating" was very interesting in that we (your audience members) were able to see how food and diets effect different people's lives in different ways and from different points of views. I truly commend you on this, for I don't quite think I could pull it off myself. Once again, I look forward to reading your posts next week. Keep up the great work.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Unjustified Revenge (Prompt #43)
There are times in our lives when we hear stories about mishaps and unjust events that take place in other people's lives and think, "Man that sucks! I'm glad that isn't me..." I've always had those moments. It isn't a lack of sympathy, but more a sigh of relief; as if to say to Fate, "Thanks for letting me catch a break again." Life is funny though and no matter how honest, unselfish, fair, kind, or giving you may be something is always going to come around to bite you in the ass. Thats just how things work.
I guess I was due for a major "unfair mishap" last week. It all started a couple of years ago when I began dating someone right after my high school graduation. We were great together for almost two years, so great in fact, that we moved in together and he proposed. Not seeing a reason to decline his offer, I accepted. Months later I realized that I had made a huge mistake with my life and that I no longer wanted to share it with him (there were many reasons behind this, but that's a completely different story we won't get into for the sake of boring everyone). I called off the engagement and he moved out, leaving me alone in the one bedroom apartment. At first, I was so lonely. I would beg friends and family members to spend more time with me once I had them out just so I could avoid going home to an empty apartment that reminded me of the person I cared so much about but had decided I was better off without. I eventually moved on. Don't we all?
I started dating again and met someone I really liked. He was respectful in every way and only wanted to make me happy. It was refreshing and perfect for me. Somewhere in the midst of my newfound happiness, my ex had found out about the new guy and decided it was time to plot his revenge on me. Revenge for what you may ask. That was my question to him as well. I never got an answer...
I came home one day after my classes got out so that I could change before going to work. I unlocked my apartment door and as soon as I walked in, I knew what had happened. My belongings were everywhere. Strewn all over the floor was my personal library and pictures of my family. He had broken in and exacted his unreasonable and unjust revenge on my life. I sat in the middle of my living room floor, head between knees sobbing. It wasn't until I got over the fact that my things were destroyed that I noticed I was missing some stuff. Not only did he wreak havoc on my entire apartment, he had stolen things as well.
I couldn't get a hold of him. I left voice-mails on his cell phone asking him what on the Earth could've possessed him to do such a thing, but for the entire night I never heard from him. I did however get phone calls from his mother. She threatened me and called me names. After hanging up on her several times, and threatening her with the authorities, I began receiving text messages with the same undeserved words. Not knowing (I still don't know what inspired this chaos) why this was happening to me, I curled up in my bed and cried most of the night. The very next day, I packed my things, broke my lease, and began moving out. I will never forgive him for unnecessarily turning my life upside down and I hope with my entire being that somehow karma gets him, and soon.
I guess I was due for a major "unfair mishap" last week. It all started a couple of years ago when I began dating someone right after my high school graduation. We were great together for almost two years, so great in fact, that we moved in together and he proposed. Not seeing a reason to decline his offer, I accepted. Months later I realized that I had made a huge mistake with my life and that I no longer wanted to share it with him (there were many reasons behind this, but that's a completely different story we won't get into for the sake of boring everyone). I called off the engagement and he moved out, leaving me alone in the one bedroom apartment. At first, I was so lonely. I would beg friends and family members to spend more time with me once I had them out just so I could avoid going home to an empty apartment that reminded me of the person I cared so much about but had decided I was better off without. I eventually moved on. Don't we all?
I started dating again and met someone I really liked. He was respectful in every way and only wanted to make me happy. It was refreshing and perfect for me. Somewhere in the midst of my newfound happiness, my ex had found out about the new guy and decided it was time to plot his revenge on me. Revenge for what you may ask. That was my question to him as well. I never got an answer...
I came home one day after my classes got out so that I could change before going to work. I unlocked my apartment door and as soon as I walked in, I knew what had happened. My belongings were everywhere. Strewn all over the floor was my personal library and pictures of my family. He had broken in and exacted his unreasonable and unjust revenge on my life. I sat in the middle of my living room floor, head between knees sobbing. It wasn't until I got over the fact that my things were destroyed that I noticed I was missing some stuff. Not only did he wreak havoc on my entire apartment, he had stolen things as well.
I couldn't get a hold of him. I left voice-mails on his cell phone asking him what on the Earth could've possessed him to do such a thing, but for the entire night I never heard from him. I did however get phone calls from his mother. She threatened me and called me names. After hanging up on her several times, and threatening her with the authorities, I began receiving text messages with the same undeserved words. Not knowing (I still don't know what inspired this chaos) why this was happening to me, I curled up in my bed and cried most of the night. The very next day, I packed my things, broke my lease, and began moving out. I will never forgive him for unnecessarily turning my life upside down and I hope with my entire being that somehow karma gets him, and soon.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Week 11: Peer Review
Brandon:
Hey Brandon. Sorry I've been gone for awhile. I'm back though! I was excited to read your posts this week. I really enjoyed "Guest Starring, Richard!" It was really clever and entertaining. I would've liked to know more about your relationship with the interviewee, but the way you set up the post was great. It wasn't like I was reading a straightforward and boring interview. You really brought it to life.
Chelsee:
Hi Chelsee! I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything and I'm sorry. My favorite post of yours this week was the one about the President of the United States. I really loved how you said that even if you don't like the person in office, you respect them because they stepped up and took on the role of being president. I have the same view point on this and found it refreshing for someone to actually say it. Your post about wrapping gifts was also interesting. The only recommendation I have is that you make it less simple. Compared to a lot of your other posts, that one was quick and lacked detail. Keep up the great work though. I can't wait to read more.
Alyssa:
Hey Alyssa! I'm sorry I've been missing for awhile now. I'm back for good and ready to participate in peer review again. My favorite post of yours this week was "Denim Expert." In a short few paragraphs I learned quite a bit about denim. Your neighbor seems pretty knowledgeable on the topic too. I'm not that into fashion, but I didn't fall asleep or even feel bored while reading your post. It was entertaining the way you organized it. I also love how you put little interjections in between the interview paragraphs. I can't wait to read more next week.
Hey Brandon. Sorry I've been gone for awhile. I'm back though! I was excited to read your posts this week. I really enjoyed "Guest Starring, Richard!" It was really clever and entertaining. I would've liked to know more about your relationship with the interviewee, but the way you set up the post was great. It wasn't like I was reading a straightforward and boring interview. You really brought it to life.
Chelsee:
Hi Chelsee! I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything and I'm sorry. My favorite post of yours this week was the one about the President of the United States. I really loved how you said that even if you don't like the person in office, you respect them because they stepped up and took on the role of being president. I have the same view point on this and found it refreshing for someone to actually say it. Your post about wrapping gifts was also interesting. The only recommendation I have is that you make it less simple. Compared to a lot of your other posts, that one was quick and lacked detail. Keep up the great work though. I can't wait to read more.
Alyssa:
Hey Alyssa! I'm sorry I've been missing for awhile now. I'm back for good and ready to participate in peer review again. My favorite post of yours this week was "Denim Expert." In a short few paragraphs I learned quite a bit about denim. Your neighbor seems pretty knowledgeable on the topic too. I'm not that into fashion, but I didn't fall asleep or even feel bored while reading your post. It was entertaining the way you organized it. I also love how you put little interjections in between the interview paragraphs. I can't wait to read more next week.
Sleep Walkers
It was a small group of people. Almost too small to be deserving of the title "group." They all sat around one of the library's many quaint round tables. The lighting was dim; the room was dank and stuffy. The chairs were made of old rust colored canvas material and the wooden legs and arms were worn with carvings from past students' use. Every once in awhile one of them got distracted by the flickering fluorescent and looked up to see if it was in fact the same light bulb that was going out just ten minutes ago. One of the girls was tapping her pencil against the palm of her hand almost in sync with the flickering rhythm of the dying light. None of them seemed annoyed by either.
The group looked oddly similar. Everyone wore the same placid expression on their face. It was the exhaustion. They had probably spent a good portion of their night at that table studying together. It wasn't that they weren't making progress; they just needed to absorb a lot of information. Over the course of an hour, they moved only their lips to talk and their fingers to write and turn book pages. They couldn't go on forever like this. They eventually and mechanically picked up their things and slid them into their bags. Some zipped them up and some didn't. Everyone was too tired to care if they lost pencils and other belongings on the way home. Sluggishly, they slept walked out the door into the warm night.
The group looked oddly similar. Everyone wore the same placid expression on their face. It was the exhaustion. They had probably spent a good portion of their night at that table studying together. It wasn't that they weren't making progress; they just needed to absorb a lot of information. Over the course of an hour, they moved only their lips to talk and their fingers to write and turn book pages. They couldn't go on forever like this. They eventually and mechanically picked up their things and slid them into their bags. Some zipped them up and some didn't. Everyone was too tired to care if they lost pencils and other belongings on the way home. Sluggishly, they slept walked out the door into the warm night.
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